Visual Storytelling - T. Benjamin Larsen's Blog

The meaning of life

The mother of all blogposts

I'm just back from a week's holiday in Spain which is a bit silly as I'm right in the middle of a 20-hour Portuguese-course. Anyway, as I was enjoying some time off from work and the chores of daily life under the Andalusian sun my mind found time to ponder that question: "What is the meaning of life?"

What's not to like?

I consider myself the kind of guy who "work to live" rather than "live to work". Despite this I feel best about myself when I actually do something creative. About now you might be asking "where the heck is this post going?" but bear with me I'm almost there. The thing is that while I find I enjoy the "good life" - relaxing, eating and drinking well under the sun, I quickly start to feel guilty as I could be using my valuable time for something more profound.

Not alone

I'm certain I'm not alone in this feeling but I'm equally certain that this feeling is far from universal. I know several people that want nothing more from life than the "buena vida" leaving the creative endeavours to the next gal or guy. This is not in any way meant to be derogative to those who have the ability to simply enjoy the comforts in life. It could well be that my "problem" is due to some kind of psychological miss-adjustment. Or it could be due to the fact that my day-job doesn't let me pursue my creative passions.

Most of all though it is probably just evidence that I've had way too much time to let my mind wander during my Spanish holiday...


Curse of the Aggressive Metaphysical Entities

At the moment of writing my computer contains no less than three film-/video-projects that are all well out of the starting block. It also contains one lousy second draft film-script and two script-treatments. Furthermore one short children's-story that need some refinement and about half a children's-novel in a non-readable state. This all comes in addition to a gazzilion photoshop-projects, the start of a shoot-em-up-game and half a fantazillion Garageband-tunes that are nowhere near the finishing-line.

Now, this might look like a wow-look-at-me-I'm-incredibly-creative-post, but that's not where I'm heading. Yes, I pride myself with being a creative person, but I am fully aware that I have very little to show for when it comes to finished projects. Neither is this a poor-me-I-have-to-spend-too-much-time-at-my-day-job-please-send-money-post. (Allthough it could have been so please send some money). No, I would like to talk about those entities from the headline, better known as new ideas. From talking to friends I've found that my experience with these seductive destroyers is not unique. This is how it normally happens:

I'm happily working away on a project based on what used to be a new idea. This, by now mature, idea and I are happily co-operating to make it into a fully-fledged film/script/whatever. We know each-other by heart and our common goal, while some time away, is clear to us both. This is when it happens. The appearance of the new kid on the block. The new idea. Somewhere in my brain zynapses are forwarding this flashy supermodel of an idea to the front of the consciousness. It's just so… new! The mind overflows with thoughts about how to bring it towards a glorious fruition. This is the one that will put my name on the lips of people everywhere and lead to world-domination.

So I begin to move time away from the old idea to the new one. Just a little bit to begin with as it clearly deserves the attention. Before I know it, the old idea has been relegated to the darkest backwaters of my hard disk. But it doesn't matter, cause I'm over-joyous with where the new idea is taking me.

For a while...

Because after a while the new idea is no longer new, and before I know it that blasted brain of mine has conjured up a new new idea. The old new idea has now become another, mature but, boring one ready to be forgotten.

So is there no way out of this conundrum? Well, I guess there is, but I'm not sure it's a happy one. I should probably just clench my teeth and struggle through the old idea before jumping onto a new one. But that struggling bit sounds an awfull lot like work...